This little animal inside has been awakened... Now I have this craving. In one way I love it very much , yet in another it is very annoying. The sleeping dog was lying , dormant and undisturbed, unaware of the pangs of desire the reside deep inside. Now it is like this horny little bitch is alive and she has these intense , passionate, wild desires. The only good part is I haven't acted on them. Somehow though it has a mental aspect to it as well. I feel somewhat lame for letting this stuff out, for wanting what I want ,for not doing it, for wanting to do it. All this abuse to my head, I self inflict.
As if desires should not exist. I don't know maybe they shouldn't, but what do you do after they are there??? How do you continue? Can you really bury them to the point of not remembering? Can you make them never resurface again, or should you just delight in the fact that they do? Follow them? If only the mind would stop at times.
Another thing... I abhor how my mind seems to think maybe I was all just a little internet game and I seemed to so freely and willingly give myself. Sometimes I guess it should just be seeing is believing.
Just be with the feelings, don't feel a need to force yourself to decide one way or the other. Just accept them as there, just as you described the nude beach, no rush to act out, just be there.
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for the wise advice ,if only I can do...
ReplyDelete